Friday, January 12, 2007

Yoko Update & New Reader

From the WFMU blog comes the full letter from Yoko's driver. I reprinted it after the jump. Don't read it if you have an aversion to being totally bummed out.

Also, It's confirmed that at least four people read this blog now! We all win!!! Except Koral Karsan. He loses.

[+/-] Click here to expand

December 2006

Dear Ms. Ono,

As you know, I have loyally served you in many capacities as your driver, bodyguard, assistant, butler, nurse, handyman and more so your lover and confidant over the last ten years. During the course of these years, our relationship has also deepened into a very emotional and physical one as well.

Unfortunately, as you know, your mood swings and dependencies have drastically eroded our relationship, and led to a continual stream of abusive statements and treatment from you. Ranging from personal insults to demanding acts of great sacrifice by me, your systematic and continuous physical and psychological abuse has caused me to become a different person, stripped from any kind of dignity and self respect...

Your constant demands on my time, for both your and your family’s professional and personal needs have greatly and perhaps irrevocably hurt my relationship with my spouse and children. My wife has now left me because of the relationship between you and me. This is solely due to your excessive demands on my time, demanding my companionship for over 15 hours daily, seven days a week for the last six years. My life has been connected to yours to a point where basic chores and activities such as taking my wife to the doctor’s office or having an engagement party for my son had to wait for months on end for you to leave the country so that I could attend the needs of my family.

Additionally, our relationship both in the public eye and private has caused a significant degree of defamation to my character. People, including your own son and daughter have voiced their opinions regarding our relationship. Every day I endure countless demeaning looks and comments from people at work, on the street and most painfully at home. This continues and will continue to cause indescribable pain for me and more importantly my family.

Under all these circumstances, I decided to contact my lawyer in order to put an end to this string of events. After discussions, we decided to pursue a “quid pro quo” sexual harassment suit against you. There is more than enough documented instances in which you harassed me in this manner and I’ve been advised that the case will be more than easy to file and prove. The case will not only involve you and I, but will also include Sean, Kyoko, Bijoux, Jan Wenner, Michiko Meyers, Sam Havatoy, Dakota residents, Paul and countless others as they will be forced to testify about things that will shock the world. I will make sure that upon filing of the suit, the NY media (members of which I have gotten to know very well over the years) will be all over it and we will all read the details on page six and other tabloid magazines for quite a while.

Such a trial, regardless of if I win or lose, will provide me with a significant amount of publicity that I will use to promote a number of books that will portray You, Sean and John. These books will be written using information obtained from ten years of listening to you as well as pictures taken with hidden cameras and literally thousands of hours of recordings I have been compiling since 1996. Within these tapes, there are recordings such as the ones below that will quite frankly, astound the world.

- Sean, while speaking to his girlfriend Carmella, calling John “a wife beating a——”;

- Your political statements against the British and US Governments;

- Your numerous critical comments about your son, daughter, the Beatles, and your friends (such as Jan Wenner, J. Onasis Kenedy, Elliot Mintz, Brian Hendel, John Hendrics, Michiko Meyers and many more);

- The story of you getting raped during WW II in a Japanese farm and the effects of this act on your relationships with men including John;

- Your numerous fights with Sam Havatoy …

Depending on the outcome of our dealings, I will not only write about these recordings but will also distribute them to European Broadcasting Stations throughout the future. You and your legal advisors may think that I am bound by the confidentiality agreement. Be informed that I am moving back to Turkey permanently and will publish my book in Turkey and will distribute the prints through the internet where I have already secured e-commerce capabilities.

All of the above mentioned items will in fact become a reality unless you compensate me and my family for all of the pain and suffering you have caused. If you want all of these pictures, recordings, emails, conversations and memories to vanish from the face of the earth and never hear from me again, all you have to do is send me a certified cashiers check from a New York Bank for a total amount of $2 million.

Thank you very much,

Koral Karsan

1 comment:

bkracer said...

i found yr blog thru jip's, so i'm yet another instant winner!!! now that we all can look at each others blogs it feels kind of like the mk days again. so self-expressive.

btw i saw somewhere your design portfolio on the web a little while ago-- it was way fierce yo.