Gold, Silver & Money

West Bay LAL appearance!

2008-08-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

Bay area dudes should come out to SF on Tuesday September 2nd and see friends love as laughter at the Rickshaw Stop. Other talent includes Oxford Collapse and Willow Willow.

Dudes in other parts of the US should see them play in other parts of the US!

Memorable Foam

2008-08-28T12:10:00.000-07:00

Draw Garfield, a smurf or anyone from the aforementioned cartoons' cast of ancillary characters. Submission info here:

http://memorablefoam.blogspot.com/

The Grossest Donut Ever

2008-07-22T13:50:00.000-07:00

Last week me and Nat went to get doughnuts at an undisclosed location, and on impulse I ordered a "creme-filled" chocolate covered doughnut with raspberry gel on top. Interestingly, the "base" was a regular doughnut where the hole was filled with an actual doughnut hole. There is no picture, other than the image seared in my brain.

My Prediction of How the World is Going to End

2008-07-18T14:14:00.001-07:00

blog out!

2008-07-14T12:17:00.000-07:00

Me and Cho pulled off going to Hawaii, and even cell phone blogged.

me and eunice hit the tropics

Best Staff Meeting Notes Ever

2008-07-01T15:57:00.001-07:00

Dolphin Tails

2008-05-05T11:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I remember that we live in a completely perfect world

A Shi Tzu's Look of Devotion...

2008-04-17T22:03:00.000-07:00

The Best Spam Names So Far Today

2008-02-25T15:45:00.000-08:00

Normal Sexual
Lefty Kwok
Ansel Homo
Leeroy Viagra
Most Trusted Replica
Causing an Erection
Totally Satisfied
Barack Obama
Vinegar Junior
Keep them coming!

Nat's Imaginary Trip to my Office, a Literal Rain Check on Oscars, Spirts of other Friends Present

2008-02-21T12:34:00.001-08:00

Nat came by my office today wearing a comically large red t-shirt.

Then he sat in my office chair, which is ergonomically correct.

Chia Garfield

2008-02-16T12:41:00.001-08:00

Good morning Chia Garfield! My friend Ryan got this for me as a christmas gift 2 or 3 years ago. I slather his head with chia seeds every spring, then transplant the sprouts to the garden once they are healthy enough. The plants mature -- getting to be about 3 - 4 feet tall. They eventually flower and go to seed. These seeds will be Garfield's hair next year. Etc.

Sky Pizza

2008-02-13T13:45:00.000-08:00

Mural at Phoenix airport

Flower Dog

2008-02-13T13:31:00.001-08:00

The card reads "courtesy of Sumito Florist"

Tree Climbing

2008-02-11T23:16:00.000-08:00

I was going through a box of pictures and found the earliest picture I actually remember being taken.

UPDATE: Eunice says I look like Felix in this picture, which if it is true, is awesome.

Weekly Team Status Meeting

2008-02-11T10:54:00.000-08:00

I'm not a Mitt Romney fan, but I like his name.

Mitt.

Hey Mitt!

(Above: Nokia's original logo)

Super Band #1

2008-01-15T22:40:00.000-08:00

I had a dream a couple of nights ago that I ran a marathon and came in first. At the after party, there was a big disco party with the music supplied from the different runner's ipods. I got bummed out and went outside, where there was small group of people watching a band setting up in front of the building.

The band turned out to be made up of Les McKeown from the Bay City Rollers, the bass player from Ohio Express, and the drummer from the Undertones. I ran around and tried to tell all of my friends what was happening and it was going to be the best thing ever, but all of them were trying to find the best songs to add to the ipod disco set list.

When I got back outside, they kicked into a weak cover of "Yummy Yummy Yummy", then a promising cover of "Another Saturday Night", that segued into a weak cover of "Saturday Night." Finally they played 2 or 3 Beatles songs, and closed with "1 2 3 Red Light."

Later, everyone was pissed that I hadn't effectively convinced them to watch it, and when they asked, I lied and told them it was the greatest performance I'd ever seen.

Crazy Food

2008-01-15T22:20:00.000-08:00

When did food get this freaked out? OK, I know it was crazy when I was a kid -- but this is frightening. My food characters jumped through walls and punched things, but they looked laid back. All of the characters in the cereal aisle tonight looked maniacal and overly enthusiastic. Lucky Charms is the scariest, and Trix does the best job of translating unbridled joy. Maybe I've been spending too much time eating puffins and peanut butter bumpers to notice what was going on in the world of "big cereals." Please note the detail of the Coco Puffs kid.

Everything is Beautiful

2007-12-13T00:36:00.000-08:00

This is exactly what it looks like -- a Chinese magazine reporting on a new cat bred to look like Garfield.

Milton's Pencil

2007-12-12T11:06:00.000-08:00

So some designer wrote to a bunch of design legends and asked them to mail a personal letter. It's cool to see their stationary... that was the main reason I geeked out -- but then the second time I looked, I noticed Milton Glaser's letter was written in rainbow colored pencil! I totally forgot about those! Now I have to go to Mr Mopp's this weekend and find one. And all of you will get them for Xmas.

Originally posted here

Good Company

2007-12-11T16:14:00.000-08:00

Happy Hanukkah!

2007-12-10T10:55:00.001-08:00

Me and Eunice drew hanukkah last night. Actually, Eunice drew it mostly, and I added the Arnold Palmer. Eunice is the best illustrator in the world. I don't know what the thing under the latke is... maybe a pie with an egg in it?

UPDATE: It's apple sauce with a dollop of sour cream, side view.

It's important that I live the next 24 hoursas a black woman!

2007-12-03T12:18:00.001-08:00

Bumpers & Brown

2007-11-13T08:30:00.001-08:00

I start the day like a winner. Got into peanut butter bumpers maybe 5 years ago -- and stopped eating them for no good reason 2 years later -- then got back into them 2 weeks ago as if nothing happened. Note the Miffy cup with initial.

In other news, I woke up with a song in my head that was composed in a dream.

comment!

2007-11-12T12:43:00.000-08:00

Settings have been changed! Now everyone can comment! How about that!

Suicide Pact

2007-11-11T20:53:00.001-08:00

Fanny Pack Part 2

2007-11-08T12:50:00.001-08:00

Fanny Pack Part 1

2007-11-08T12:47:00.000-08:00

Patiently waiting for their Masters

2007-11-08T12:15:00.001-08:00

Elegant Gypsy

2007-10-31T15:13:00.001-07:00

I overheard someone say that they've been listening to a lot of Al Di Meola and Hank Mobley this morning, and this album cover popped up into my head.

I can't begin to tell you how much I hate this cover. Throughout six or seven cumulative years of working in record stores I always could count on seeing Di Meola's stupid head looking up at me from the "misc. D" section. I have also never heard it before, so I'm probably "really missing out."

What is Nat up to?

2007-10-29T17:05:00.000-07:00

Nat impresses the hell out of me -- now I guess he's impressing the hell out of Texas in a freaked out art collaboration. Check out the flyer with Cooper Black (scroll down a little.)

http://crookedarm.blogspot.com/

Zardoz Sighting #2

2007-10-15T15:20:00.000-07:00

"Cute Zardoz"

Zardoz Sighting #1

2007-10-15T15:14:00.000-07:00

Quarters

2007-09-27T16:28:00.000-07:00

UPDATE 15 October -- like I was actually going to do this, right? I do have a stack of about 38 quarters for Ken and Naomi, though (plus a bi-centennial). They'll be stoked.

After a period of inactivity, I'm going to resume blog entries -- but instead of snarky pop culture observations, I'm chronicling my acquisition of quarters for Ken and Naomi. They live in Japan, and will hopefully be picking them up in person sometime in January.

I've noticed since I started collecting how crazy some of the quarter designs are. Really. It's interesting how some of the states chose to immortalize themselves. Anyway, enjoy!

The release schedule from the US mint

Whoopi on the view

2007-08-02T14:43:00.001-07:00

I sort of hoped it wouldn't happen, but then it did. Whoopi is kind of like a "safe" Rosie. Bette Midler would have been more appropriately horrific. Ah well.

In related news, have you ever seen the giant Whoopi Goldberg at Universal Studios? It's sort of humbling.

Fuck You, Happy Feet!

2007-07-24T13:19:00.000-07:00

Wow - this is the most horrible thing I've seen in a long time. Toe socks have always grossed me out -- but this is on a whole other level. Seriously, after looking at these on my screen for 2 or 3 minutes, I think Crocs are OK looking. This is the most repulsive footwear idea I've ever seen, and I look forward to seeing jerks in yoga pants wear them around Berkeley. Gross. Buy a pair here!

Modern warfare just got AWESOME!

2007-06-11T13:24:00.000-07:00

A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.

Not only would I support the US making bombs that get soldiers make to out with each other, but I would happily donate money out of pocket.

We have the best and smartest army in the world! Read on

Technology improves our lives once again

2007-06-05T14:21:00.000-07:00

I can't tell you how stoked I am that there are Jewish gadgets out in the ether. I guess this would be a good Christmas gift (hint hint.)
Buy one NOW!

PS: Note the icon system! You don't even have to read! It gets better! Thanks Judaism!

Surfs up!

2007-06-02T19:03:00.000-07:00

Birthday blog! It's better than death blog, and Adrian is better than Jackie Mason, even! For real!

Happy Birthday Adrian!

Jackie Mason is Crazy... CRAZY AWESOME!

2007-05-29T15:07:00.000-07:00

But seriously though, Jackie Mason is the smartest and best person in the world!

Summer Bloggin'

2007-05-25T14:05:00.000-07:00

Rosie left early! O'Donnell called U.S. troops "terrorists" on the show, then called Hasselbeck "cowardly" for not saying anything in response.

"Do not call me a coward, because No. 1, I sit here every single day, open my heart and tell people what I believe," said Hasselbeck.

According to a New York Post: O'Donnell's chief writer, Janette Barber, was allegedly led out of the building on Wednesday after she was caught drawing mustaches on photographs of Hasselbeck in "The View" studios. ABC executives didn't return repeated calls for questions on the incident Friday.

On Rosie's interblog: "When painting there is a point u must step away from the canvas as the work is done. Any more would take away."

Is it that hard to write yo before the u? What -- are you twelve, Rosie? Jeez.

Steady Mugging

2007-05-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

So it kind of ended (Rosie said she'd stick around), and I found myself not really caring one way or the other. I don't really like or dislike Rosie O'Donnell. I liked her better when she was a full member of the View. The only View I can really get into has Lisa, Barb, Star (or does she have two "r"s -- Like Starr?), Meredith, and Joy.

I do feel like I ought to buy one of those mugs they sell before she goes. I believe they still have that horrible Christmas design around.

Otherwise -- meh.

The Death of a Crummy Digital Camera

2007-04-27T16:23:00.000-07:00

So I bought this totally shitty camera for $30 a couple of years ago out of pure gadget love, and today it shot its last frame. In a way I'm kind of relieved. The pictures were pretty pathetic -- though I have to admit a certain fondness for it's AutoBrite jpeg color averaging. Skin tones in particular were sort of bizarre. Everyone became "people of color" to its lens. I'm a little sorry the last thing it saw was a somewhat dismal scene from my cubicle (note the fish eye mirror.)

Anyway, RIP Logitech Pocket Digital.

I've had quite a few people asking me why I haven't "blogged" Rosie O'Donnell leaving the view. Well, one, blogs are totally stupid -- and two, I'm still processing the fact that this is pretty much the death of the view, unless Bette Midler steps up.

Coming Monday -- The Death of the View

The Death Blog Cometh

2007-04-23T15:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I keep posting obituaries... but here's another: Yeltsin!

RIP. He seemed like he liked to have fun. I used to work with a lady named Yellen -- she always made me think of Yeltsin (because the names sound similar.)

Muffin and Fruit Spread at Office Party

2007-04-20T15:44:00.000-07:00

For some reason this reminds me of a slightly less gross version of the gatefold to that ZZ Top record "Tres Hombres" -- which, incidentally, was shot at Leo's Mexican Restaurant in Houston (ZZ Top's favorite) -- where, incidentally, I've always wanted to go to, and was crushed to find it went out of business some time ago.

Though ZZ Top's favorite restaurant is defunct -- you still have ample opportunity to visit Bill Keane's favorite restaurant in Scottsdale, AZ. The Sugar Bowl! Do you like the crust cut off of your sandwiches? Bill does! Incidentally, it's also full of precious BK sketches! It's a museum!

Another factoid -- me and Nat tried to decorate the kitchen with above noted gatefold when we first moved into the Milvia house (upper), but Eunice vetoed and it came down -- it's a FACT!

NOTE: I somehow deleted the comments from this post when editing this... but they were funny! For sure!

Ultimate 2007: 244 copies of Vista sold in China

2007-04-18T09:14:00.000-07:00

This image, as well as the headline (which is essentially the story) came from a pretty sketchy source, then was posted to Slashdot -- which can sometimes be sketchy. Great packaging, though. I like the Christmas themed Mickey and Minnie.

Hideous keyboards on sale at target!

2007-04-12T16:34:00.000-07:00

As much as I like dolphins, I was still a little OMG (but not in a good way) when I saw this. Oh, by the way -- yes, it is for real.

RIP KV

2007-04-12T11:01:00.000-07:00

These things always come in threes... don't they? Kurt Vonnegut is one of my favorite author/illustrators. This is a big blow to the Rad Dude Association.

As long as I'm re-directing to Nat's "blog", I may as well lead you to his eulogy, which is more eloquent than I could manage.

I'm totally going to start reading Breakfast of Champions again tonight.

REVISED: More R.I.P. (B.C.) + (W.O.I.)

2007-04-09T22:22:00.000-07:00

This is becoming a death blog. Johnny Hart this time. The creator of BC. Remember the strip where he morphed a menorah into a cross and everybody got mad?

Sigh.

PS: Thanks Nat for adding Wizard if ID to Hart's co-credits.

Blogs don't Update Themselves!

2007-04-05T10:57:00.000-07:00

Back from blog-cation! It was a sweet break -- though I've been hit hard with Barack Obama spam. Stop emailing me Barack! Your constant emails about fundraising goals are irritating and excessive. Even Howard Dean showed more restraint than you! Get it together!

In other news, Bob Clark -- director of Porky's (1982), Baby Geniuses (1999) and SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004) passed away earlier today. RIP, Bob Clark.

blog-cation

2007-03-21T16:37:00.000-07:00

Coming back from blog-cation next week!

Upcoming:
The bees in the roof
Ten worst record covers ever
Witty quips
etc.

The "Classic" View that never was

2007-03-09T14:58:00.000-08:00

Minus Barbara Walters, plus Bette Midler. Could this have been a recipe for success? Star and Lisa look bummed, Joy looks like a jealous older sister, and Meredith has something on her hand. Bette, of course, looks divine.

Which reminds me, starting next week I'll be posting the top 10 album covers I hate. So far, the list includes one from Midler, and 2 from Al DeMeola.

Sometimes I Feel like Cathy During Bathing Suit Season

2007-03-09T14:08:00.000-08:00

Music journalism is singularly awful. I read a review this afternoon of some indie rock band where the author compared "the scrappy fivesome's" sound to" The Pretty Things, Television, Chuck Berry and 80s SoCal punk".

This is totally lazy uninformed referentialism. The only bands that sound like Chuck Berry are from Japan. Nobody sounds like a combination of all of these things. 80s SoCal punk is not a valid reference. I went to the band's website, and they sound like an ipod crossed with the Violent Femmes.

Maybe Erik Spiekermann can redesign journalism too.

German PC Magazine redesigned by Germans

2007-03-07T12:32:00.000-08:00

I guess PC Professionell decided to not look like a totally crappy PC magazine anymore. Unfortunately, their website is still touting a classic look. But hey, kudos Spiekermann! Now will you come over here and fix our periodicals? Seriously. Sigh.

I used to get a couple of magazines like this from going to events like LinuxWorldCon and MacWorld and they're almost all terrible looking. The ads are even worse -- but that's an entirely different thing.

The Dolphin Dying of a Broken Heart

2007-02-27T13:42:00.000-08:00

Heartbreaking news from a frequently disappointing world

Dying Of A Broken Heart

A dolphin is dying of a broken heart after its beloved trainer was killed by her neighbour in a frenzied attack.

Mary G was rescued from the Adriatic Sea and nurtured back to full health by Tamara Monti at the Oltremare water park in Riccione, Italy.

But the 37-year-old was stabbed to death at her flat by neighbour Alessandro Doto.

He claimed he had been driven mad by the constant barking of Ms Monti's two dogs.

Now Mary G is refusing her diet of milk and squid and has lost 50kg in weight. She has also failed to respond to treatment for a gastric infection.

Leonardo Stanzani, the park's director, said Ms Monti had become the dolphin's "substitute mother".

"The relationship between a dolphin and its trainer is always special but this time it was especially close," Mr Stanzani told The Times.

"Tamara was constantly stroking Mary, who would nuzzle her cheek."

Keepers are hoping the introduction of an older dolphin called Pele into Mary G's aquarium will help cheer her up.

My top ten favorite walls

2007-02-23T15:19:00.000-08:00

I think this was a temporary paint job for a museum in Japan... but it reminds me that totally amazing graffiti is rare. Like the flying penis in the Solano tunnel. Or the crazy drawings in the Long Life Vegi House bathroom. Sigh.

But I guess this is corporate graffiti... isn't it. With that in mind. Moonite led graffiti and Andy Kaufman stickers were not awesome. The weird linux triptych that IBM did was. Any instances of people making FEAR stencils with the long box the CD used to come in also ruled.

Do you remember when cds came in long cardboard boxes? So did tapes, for a time.

The best house in the world (or a giant peach of one's own)

2007-02-12T10:47:00.000-08:00

At some point in my life I'd like to live in a dome house. This one claims to be Earthquake resistant, flood proof (when the floods come, the house floats) and more. I think I'm most attracted to the floating element because I've always secretly wanted to live out James and the Giant Peach. Now when California sinks into the ocean, I can float to Japan and thank the inventor of my awesome house in person. Plus, there's no chance of sharks eating my peach/house. This one is made of wood!

The website also suggests using the space as a cafe, which kind of appeals to me.

Buy yours now at http://g-wood.jp/en/
(spotted at treehugger)

UPDATE: actually... the absence of a bathroom might be a deal-breaker.
[+/-] Click here for more photos

The "Good" Doors (freed from the stifling creative restraint of Jim Morrison)

2007-02-09T12:30:00.000-08:00

Cute robot alert! My unwritten novel on imaginary TV!

2007-02-09T12:09:00.000-08:00

Yuki-taro is an autonomous snowplow-bot from Japan. It eats snow, then expels 24 x 12 x 6" blocks of ice from its rear end (ass). The blocks can then be neatly stacked and stored until summer, when they can be used as an alternative source of refrigeration or cooling.

In other news, I had a dream this morning that I was on Regis & Kelly talking about my unwritten novel, and Regis says, "wow, so you're a busy guy!" and I say "well, yeah, but I always take time out for the View." Then I smile and take a sip of coffee. Then Regis gets mad and says I shouldn't be plugging another show, but Kelly contends it's OK because it's on the same network. Then Rosie calls in, and asks Regis if everything's cool. I woke up shortly after thinking "that was a really good cup of coffee."

If only it were out of this mug.

Me, Nat & Anna Nicole

2007-02-08T17:10:00.000-08:00

nathaniel russell to me 2:23 pm
shouldn't you be blogging about anna nicole?

john minardi to nathaniel 3:14 pm
no -- that would be in bad taste

nathaniel russell to me 3:15 pm
or would it be a proper memorial. you be the judge.

When the "i" in ipod stands for illegal, etc.

2007-02-07T15:40:00.000-08:00

Did you hear that New York State Senator Carl Kruger is looking to institute a $100 fine for using "electronic devices" (ipod, blackberries, etc) while crossing the street? Well I did, and I think it's about time. If possible, I'd like to tag on another bill forbidding the use of cell phones while conducting customer service transactions (on both sides.)

Is it legal to use devices that jam cell phones in enclosed spaces? I think I'd like one of those too. Next time one of my friends plays "solo accoustic", I won't have to hear some total idiot talking on their cell. Or texting. Wait... strike that. Block calls, but not texting.

By the way, did you know that originally (for apple, anyway), the "i" prefix was for internet? I did. Now we have something in common, me and you!

Alabama couple does bed-in protest to Iraq war! Might actually be better than John and Yoko's!

2007-02-05T11:32:00.000-08:00

Wow.

Wow.

I hate war and everything, but this is totally lame. Or it's meta-awesome. So are they getting in and out of bed to do volunteer literacy work by day, and they just sleep in the living room? Or do they stay there all day and the illiterate come to them? Do they get to watch TV? If anyone knows, please inform!

[+/-] Read all about it!

Ala. couple stages bed-in for peace
Published: Feb 05, 2007 at 1:14 PM
Mobile, Ala. (UPI)
A Mobile, Ala., married couple has resurrected a protest technique created by John Lennon and Yoko Ono -- the bed-in.

Ernie and Lynn Seewer said they moved their bed from the bedroom to the living room in protest of the Iraq war, the Mobile Register reported Monday.

"I tried doing the serious thing," said Lynn Seewer, a volunteer literacy tutor. "I've tried, you know, writing letters and making phone calls and e-mails and the proper channels, and that's gotten me nowhere."

The Seewer's then decided to adopt the bed-in practice created 40 years ago by the late Beatle and his wife to promote peace at hotels in Amsterdam and Montreal.

Ernie Seewer said the bed-in will last until the Iraq war ends.

He said although the couple's protest is of a far smaller scale than the one staged by Lennon and Ono, the couple hopes others might join in their demonstration.

"Maybe we can encourage people to put their beds in their living room for peace until the war is over," Ernie said.

The "Beatles Apple" and the "Computer Apple" make good. Ryan O'Neal acted in self-defence.

2007-02-05T11:04:00.000-08:00

The Beatles Apple and the Computer Apple settled that 2003 lawsuit! Good going! Spokesperson from Computer Apple says "many exiting years are ahead" (AP, natch!) Look for "I'm a Mac, And I'm a Badfinger LP" spoof on youtube in the near future.

Also, Ryan O'Neal (Love Story) shot at his son Griffin (Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College) in response to a flailing charcoal poker attack. Evidently, Father O'Neil was grazed by the poker several times. O'Neal then shot a bannister rather than his son, who promptly fled into the night (Washington Post).

At 65, Ryan O'Neal still maintains boyish good looks. Son Griffin has not.

Dog with sunglasses

2007-01-19T09:10:00.000-08:00

Google image search of the week:
dog with sunglasses

(also see "monkey with glasses")

YOTP

2007-01-17T18:13:00.000-08:00

The high pitched whine of doom

2007-01-17T10:32:00.000-08:00

I've heard of the "Doomsday Clock", but I thought it was some sort of allegory -- not an actual clock. Anyway, it's 5 to midnight -- and we're all pretty close to being fucked. The full story from Reuters is below.

In the meantime, Naomi Campbell was sentenced to five days of community service by a New York city criminal court after she pleaded guilty to hitting her maid with a cell phone over a pair of missing jeans.

In relative personal news, I changed my cellphone ringtone to a painfully high pitched noise to annoy teenagers, but have only succeeded in causing a minor ringing in my own ears (teenagers=2, minardi=0).

Finally, Koda the polar bear cub from the Pittsburgh Zoo is ready to go back in front of visitors today after having a root canal. (the photo above is of Cub Koda -- who is unrelated)

[+/-] Click here to expand

By Will Dunham WASHINGTON, Jan 17 (Reuters) - The scientists who mind the Doomsday Clock on Wednesday moved it two minutes closer to midnight -- symbolizing the annihilation of civilization -- adding the perils of global warming for the first time to acute nuclear threats.

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, which created the Doomsday Clock in 1947 to warn the world of the dangers of nuclear weapons, advanced the clock to five minutes until midnight. It was the first adjustment of the clock since 2002.

"We stand at the brink of a second nuclear age," the group said in a statement.

They pointed to North Korea's first test of a nuclear weapon last year, Iran's nuclear ambitions, U.S. flirtation with "bunker buster" nuclear bombs, the continued presence of 26,000 nuclear weapons in the United States and Russia and inadequate security for nuclear materials.

But the scientists also said the destruction of human habitats wreaked by climate change brought on by human activities is a growing danger to humankind.

"Global warming poses a dire threat to human civilization that is second only to nuclear weapons," they said.

The announcement was made in news conferences held in London and Washington.

"We foresee great peril if governments and societies do not take action now to render nuclear weapons obsolete and to prevent further climate change," famed theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking of the University of Cambridge, a member of the bulletin's board of sponsors, told reporters in London.

In 2002, the bulletin's scientists moved the clock two minutes forward in 2002, to seven minutes until midnight following the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on the United States.

The bulletin was founded in 1945 by University of Chicago scientists who had worked on developing the first nuclear bomb, and it is now overseen by some of the world's most prominent scientists.

The bulletin created the clock in 1947, two years after the United States ushered in the nuclear age by dropping atomic bombs on two Japanese cities at the end of World War Two, to symbolize the urgent nuclear dangers confronting the world.

Awesomest/Creepiest

2007-01-16T17:41:00.000-08:00

I don't know anything about what kind of company Clover/Stornetta is, but they do have the awesomest/creepiest mascot in the world.

Order in the Court!

2007-01-16T10:55:00.000-08:00

Did my mention of Dork Court invite my blog's first spam? Quite possibly... and so I've enabled that thing where you have to type a word in order to publish a comment. Take that, spam!

In other news, I overheard some environmental scientists making jokes about the lady who poisoned herself by drinking too much water and was somewhat offended.

Also overheard -- two dudes at the gym talking about what a crook Obama is (quote: I'm from illinois, and let me tell you about this guy... unbelievable!), followed by several lefty Berkeley types getting visibly prickly, but not saying anything (unless outraged huffing noises count.)

Alice Coltrane and Dork Court

2007-01-14T00:40:00.000-08:00

So we lost Alice Coltrane the other day... and I indirectly found out by weird spam from a sender named Dork Court... who's message was littered with current news, strange advertising gibberish and mention of Alice Coltrane. Which led me to look up her website. Odd. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear it.

Yoko Update & New Reader

2007-01-12T14:46:00.000-08:00

From the WFMU blog comes the full letter from Yoko's driver. I reprinted it after the jump. Don't read it if you have an aversion to being totally bummed out.

Also, It's confirmed that at least four people read this blog now! We all win!!! Except Koral Karsan. He loses.

[+/-] Click here to expand

December 2006

Dear Ms. Ono,

As you know, I have loyally served you in many capacities as your driver, bodyguard, assistant, butler, nurse, handyman and more so your lover and confidant over the last ten years. During the course of these years, our relationship has also deepened into a very emotional and physical one as well.

Unfortunately, as you know, your mood swings and dependencies have drastically eroded our relationship, and led to a continual stream of abusive statements and treatment from you. Ranging from personal insults to demanding acts of great sacrifice by me, your systematic and continuous physical and psychological abuse has caused me to become a different person, stripped from any kind of dignity and self respect...

Your constant demands on my time, for both your and your family’s professional and personal needs have greatly and perhaps irrevocably hurt my relationship with my spouse and children. My wife has now left me because of the relationship between you and me. This is solely due to your excessive demands on my time, demanding my companionship for over 15 hours daily, seven days a week for the last six years. My life has been connected to yours to a point where basic chores and activities such as taking my wife to the doctor’s office or having an engagement party for my son had to wait for months on end for you to leave the country so that I could attend the needs of my family.

Additionally, our relationship both in the public eye and private has caused a significant degree of defamation to my character. People, including your own son and daughter have voiced their opinions regarding our relationship. Every day I endure countless demeaning looks and comments from people at work, on the street and most painfully at home. This continues and will continue to cause indescribable pain for me and more importantly my family.

Under all these circumstances, I decided to contact my lawyer in order to put an end to this string of events. After discussions, we decided to pursue a “quid pro quo” sexual harassment suit against you. There is more than enough documented instances in which you harassed me in this manner and I’ve been advised that the case will be more than easy to file and prove. The case will not only involve you and I, but will also include Sean, Kyoko, Bijoux, Jan Wenner, Michiko Meyers, Sam Havatoy, Dakota residents, Paul and countless others as they will be forced to testify about things that will shock the world. I will make sure that upon filing of the suit, the NY media (members of which I have gotten to know very well over the years) will be all over it and we will all read the details on page six and other tabloid magazines for quite a while.

Such a trial, regardless of if I win or lose, will provide me with a significant amount of publicity that I will use to promote a number of books that will portray You, Sean and John. These books will be written using information obtained from ten years of listening to you as well as pictures taken with hidden cameras and literally thousands of hours of recordings I have been compiling since 1996. Within these tapes, there are recordings such as the ones below that will quite frankly, astound the world.

- Sean, while speaking to his girlfriend Carmella, calling John “a wife beating a——”;

- Your political statements against the British and US Governments;

- Your numerous critical comments about your son, daughter, the Beatles, and your friends (such as Jan Wenner, J. Onasis Kenedy, Elliot Mintz, Brian Hendel, John Hendrics, Michiko Meyers and many more);

- The story of you getting raped during WW II in a Japanese farm and the effects of this act on your relationships with men including John;

- Your numerous fights with Sam Havatoy …

Depending on the outcome of our dealings, I will not only write about these recordings but will also distribute them to European Broadcasting Stations throughout the future. You and your legal advisors may think that I am bound by the confidentiality agreement. Be informed that I am moving back to Turkey permanently and will publish my book in Turkey and will distribute the prints through the internet where I have already secured e-commerce capabilities.

All of the above mentioned items will in fact become a reality unless you compensate me and my family for all of the pain and suffering you have caused. If you want all of these pictures, recordings, emails, conversations and memories to vanish from the face of the earth and never hear from me again, all you have to do is send me a certified cashiers check from a New York Bank for a total amount of $2 million.

Thank you very much,

Koral Karsan

baby in a bucket

2007-01-03T12:07:00.000-08:00

You should totally do a google image search for "baby in a bucket"

Now you feel better, don't you?

People get hell of sick at Olive Garden

2006-12-15T14:51:00.000-08:00

About 300 people have reported becoming sick after eating at an Olive Garden restaurant in northeast Indianapolis, a spokesman for the Marion County Health Department told CNN on Friday.

The customers became ill after eating at the restaurant between Saturday and Wednesday, said John Althardt. They have reported nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and, in some cases, fever, and three have been hospitalized, he said.

Althardt said the health department hopes to start testing -- as early as Friday afternoon -- stool samples of the sick and leftovers that restaurant patrons took home. Results may be available in about 48 hours.

I'll bet you it was either breadsticks or Michael Richards. Just kidding, lol. It was the breadsticks.

Yoko Ono's driver intimidates with his e-commerce capabilities

2006-12-15T14:46:00.000-08:00

At Mr. Karsan’s arraignment yesterday, prosecutors said he had claimed to have people “on standby” ready to kill Ms. Ono, 73, and Sean Lennon, 31, and that he planned to move to Turkey to write a tell-all book about her life. In a blackmail note, which was read aloud in court, Mr. Karsan announced intentions to use “e-commerce capability” to distribute photographs of Ms. Ono on the Internet in Iran.

Dude, when did people start using e-commerce capability as a threat? Planet Earth just became a little crummier.

Yeah, but how long can you balance that 5¼-inch floppy, Bill?

2006-12-13T14:23:00.001-08:00

I found a few of these in an old file folder at the office and was able to balance one on my index finger for 32 seconds. Youtube clip coming soon.

Sir Reg has been bested!

2006-12-12T22:49:00.000-08:00

Now say "Really Rosie" in a fake Asian Accent!

2006-12-11T18:15:00.000-08:00

Everyone has heard the offending Rosie quote by now... I found the response from her people amusing, though (New York Daily News) :

O'Donnell's spokeswoman Cindi Berger released an unapologetic statement over the weekend, saying, "I certainly hope that one day they will be able to grasp her humor."

Are there some hidden layers of satire embedded in Rosie's "Ching chong" shtick? Only time will tell, as the Asian community begins the slow process of grasping her humor.

Holocaust Deniers and Skeptics Gather in Iran

2006-12-11T09:49:00.000-08:00

Do you know that song "the teddy bears picnic"? After reading this, I spent an hour making up a song about the "holocaust denier's picnic." In the end wasn't that funny, so I posted the story instead. Holocaust denial is fascinating in that it's a step beyond white supremacy. It's like applied white supremacy -- the white supremacy is implicit, and the rest is simply additional crackpot-ism. Anyway, here's a report from their picnic:

[+/-] Click here to expand

New York Times December 11, 2006

TEHRAN, Dec. 11 — Holocaust deniers and skeptics from around the world gathered at a government-sponsored conference here today to discuss their theories about whether six million Jews were indeed killed by the Nazis during World War II and whether gas chambers existed.

In a speech opening the two-day conference, Rasoul Mousavi, head of the Iranian Foreign Ministry’s Institute for Political and International Studies, which organized the event, said it was an opportunity for scholars to discuss the subject “away from Western taboos and the restriction imposed on them in Europe.”

The foreign ministry had said that 67 foreign researchers from 30 countries were scheduled to take part. Among those speaking today are David Duke, the American white-supremacist politician and former Ku Klux Klan leader, and Georges Thiel, a French writer who has been prosecuted in France over his denials of the Holocaust.

Mr. Duke’s remarks late this afternoon are expected to assert that no gas chambers or extermination camps were actually built during the war, on the ground that killing Jews that way would have been much too bothersome and expensive when the Nazis could have used much simpler methods, according to an advance summary of his speech published by the institute.

“Depicting Jews as the overwhelming victims of the Holocaust gave the moral high ground to the Allies as victors of the war, and allowed Jews to establish a state on the occupied land of Palestine,” Mr. Duke’s paper says, according to the summary.

One of the first scheduled speakers, Robert Faurisson of France, also called the Holocaust a myth created to justify the occupation of Palestine.

The conference is being held at the behest of Iran’s president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who likewise called the Holocaust a myth last year, and repeated a well-known slogan from the early days of the 1979 revolution in Iran, “Israel must be wiped off the map.” He has spoken several times since then about a need to establish whether the Holocaust actually happened.

Most of the speakers at the conference today praised Mr. Ahmadinejad’s comments.

Bendikt Frings, 48, a psychologist from Germany, said he believed Mr. Ahmadinejad was “an honest direct man,” and said he had come to the conference to thank him for what he had initiated.

“We are forbidden to have such a conference in Germany,” he said. “ All my childhood, we waited for something like this.”

Toben Feredrick, from Austrailia, said Mr. Ahmadinejad has opened an issue “which is morally and intellectually crippling the Western society.”

“People are imprisoned in Germany for denying the Holocaust,” he added.

Mr. Feredrick said he was jailed for six months in 1999 because of his ideas, and that a court in Germany has ordered him arrested if he speaks out publicly again denying that the Holocaust took place.

Other Western “revisionists” presented what they called new facts about the Holocaust at the conference, which also attracted attendees from some ultra-Orthodox Jews belonging to anti-Zioinst sects that reject the state of Israel. One participant wearing the traditional long black coat and hat of such groups wore a badge saying: “A Jew, not a Zionist.”

It was not entirely clear how the lineup of speakers at the conference was set. The Institute’s website had invited scholars and researchers to submit papers in advance for consideration, but revealed little about how they were evaluated. The Iranian foreign ministry also provided little information about participants, saying that it feared they would be prosecuted by their home countries.

The conference included an exhibition today of various photos, posters and other material meant to contradict the accepted version of events, that the Nazis murdered millions of Jews and other “undesirables” in death camps during the war. New captions in Persian on some familiar photos of corpses at the camps argued that they were victims of typhus, not the German state. Anti-Zionist literature, including a 2004 book by the American author Michael Collins Piper, about Zionist influence in America, was offered for sale to visitors at the conference. So, apparently, was a video recording of 12 Holocaust survivors telling their stories, suggesting that the views represented at the conference may not have been entirely one-sided. The conference prompted outrage in the West. The German government summoned the Iranian charge d’affaires in Berlin to complain. The French Foreign Minister, Philippe Douste-Blazy, warned that the conference would be strongly condemned if it propagated claims denying the Holocaust.

Iran also organized an exhibition last summer of cartoons about the Holocaust, which outraged Jews inside Iran and out.

Iranian Jewish leaders reacted angrily to Mr. Ahmadinejad’s Holocaust-denying comments last year, issuing a statement saying that his words were spreading fear among Jews in Iran.

“We consider the Holocaust as a fact and a disgrace for humanity,” Haround Yashayai, a leading voice among Iranian Jews, said today. “We cannot say that such a conference cannot be held here. We have condemned similar events in the past, and see no reason to condemn it again.”

Gary Hart Part 2: Donna Rice's mice

2006-12-08T16:52:00.000-08:00

Donna Rice is now the president of protectkids.com... which has this bizarre and amusing navigation system (presumably for kids?) I like the appalled mouse with the red nose. Look out! Questionable content! No!

Most awesome splashscreen mod ever

2006-12-08T14:45:00.000-08:00

in Windows, the splash screens are .png files located in:
C:\Program Files\Adobe\Adobe Illustrator CS\Support Files\Contents\Windows

Gary Hart Part 1: "Follow me around."

2006-12-08T13:50:00.000-08:00

"Follow me around. I don't care. I'm serious. If anybody wants to put a tail on me, go ahead. They'll be very bored."
- Gary Hart quoted in the New York Times, May 3, 1987

I genuinely like Gary Hart. He would have been a great president -- smarter and more capable than Mondale and Dukakis. At the same time, this is pretty hilarious.

frosty beard plus hat

2006-12-07T01:46:00.000-08:00

This is officially on my Christmas list

2006-12-04T16:54:00.000-08:00